As I listened to her, my heart started to race, and my palms started to sweat. The room suddenly felt like it was 100 degrees. I saw myself in my assailant’s grip and remembered that time with my father. I heard all those years’ worth of belittling messages from family members. I felt the sting of rejection, the pain of grief, the heat of anger, the turmoil of anxiety, and the weight of sadness all in a single, crystallized moment.
Only hearing bits and pieces of what she said, I clenched my hand over my heart and said, “I’m so sorry.” But I’m not sure if that was meant more for her or for me.
I had heard the word “trigger” in classes, and I knew the warning signs. Though I had been warned of the risks of workplace retraumatization for therapists, I was totally unaware of my own vulnerability.
I didn’t know at the time that my recognition of this moment would kick-start a two-year journey of self-study, a process that incorporated supervision, therapy, and nutritional counseling to undo my history’s disempowering chokehold on my life.
Trauma, abuse, prejudice, and bigotry can hide truth and disempower us. All of these experiences can mute our agency, our authority, and our choices.
The most important relationship for us to develop is the one we share with ourselves. And while all relationships involve power, many of us are disillusioned and disconnected from our inner power.
Social work can be described as an approach of resource-oriented support that helps promote self-determination and autonomy by enhancing strengths in the face of destructive systems. Empowerment lies at the center of the social work profession. Fostering empowerment is at the core of what I do professionally, in my work as both a care manager and a therapist, but I was delayed in the development of my own empowerment.
The most important relationship for us to develop is the one we share with ourselves. And while all relationships involve power, many of us are disillusioned and disconnected from our inner power.
The process of empowerment includes cultivation of self-worth; the right to have access to choices, opportunities and resources; the right to have power to control our own lives; and the ability to influence the direction of social change. Empowerment requires us to seek, cultivate, maintain, and support our inner power, as well as that of others. We can do this through psychoeducation, raising awareness, and developing confidence.
I used my own journey of empowerment to develop the following acronym to guide those I work with in therapy toward cultivating their own: ANCHOR
In order to ANCHOR ourselves in empowerment, we must seek:
Awareness
The most essential tool for any kind of personal change is awareness. With awareness, we can begin to learn how to make the best choices for ourselves. Practicing mindfulness can help us develop our awareness. If you would like to learn more about mindfulness, I recommend Jon Kabat-Zinn’s book Full Catastrophe Living. This book can help you better understand the mind-body connection and the ways in which mindfulness can foster well-being and healing.
Networks
We are social beings, wired and hungry for belonging and connection. Social support allows us to feel cared for and lets us know there are people in our lives who can help us when we need it. Social supports can manifest in both receiving and providing emotional, tangible, informational, or companionship resources.
To become more networked, try Meetup.com (or the Meetup app). Meetup connects people who are interested in similar activities, helping them connect with nearby people who have shared interests and find communities within communities.
Compassion
As Kristen Neff’s research indicates, we benefit from warmth, kindness, and understanding for ourselves and others when faced with shortcomings, disappointments, losses, transitions, and challenges. Many of us struggle to practice self-compassion when we are feeling low or down on ourselves. To develop compassion, for yourself or for others, consider what you might say to a friend who was in the same situation. Try those same words on yourself!
Hope
According to Charles Snyder, a specialist in positive psychology, hope is the optimistic expectation for positive outcomes. Hope is rooted in having goals with various pathways and the agency to achieve them. To develop hope, we must realistically consider our dreams and aspirations and the ways we can achieve them. This can often be productively addressed in therapy.
We can also cultivate hope by reaching out to our support systems and taking care of ourselves through proper nutrition, exercise, and sleep. If you are reading this and feeling hopeless, please reach out for help to someone close to you or a trained professional, such as a doctor or therapist. You can find crisis resources here.
Ownership
We have a natural right to bodily integrity. In other words, we have exclusive control of our lives. Self-ownership is rooted in the principles of equality, choice, and self-love.
Ownership is often a natural byproduct of hope. To cultivate ownership, we can make a list of outcomes (not activites) that we can reasonably expect to achieve.
Respect
Respect for ourselves and others reflects an overall emotional evaluation of our own worth. This evaluation is often rooted in having confidence and dignity in our appearance, talents, and gifts.
To practice respect, we can engage in self-esteem building exercises. These exercises might include thinking positively about ourselves, acknowledging our strengths, and taking care of ourselves.
Empowered individuals are better able to empower others. By following these steps, we can begin to create a more just and compassionate world for all. If you aren’t sure how to begin, I encourage you to reach out for help. A compassionate, qualified counselor can offer support and guidance.
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